Picking Up the Pieces
by atonalremix
Summary: The night before he leaves for college, Jeremy fears he'll lose the friendship he has with Tyler - and instead, learns that he had absolutely nothing to worry about in the first place. (Spoilers for S5!)


**Author's Note**

I'm still not entirely sure where this one came from! Mostly, I'm a little frustrated at the constant stream of love interests for Tyler, Matt, and Jeremy - it's okay for them to love each other, CW! It is completely okay, especially since I feel like I know more about Liv or Aaron Whitmore than I know about them (so much of this fic is headcanon or outright borrowed bits from my other TVD fics). That said, it is mostly canon-compliant, right up until S6 because that comes out next week!

I hope you guys enjoy this, and as always, please R&R so that I know how I'm doing.

**Disclaimer**

The Vampire Diaries belongs to LJ Smith and the lovely folk at the CW. I'm just borrowing the characters and the concepts for a story!

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><p>For the past two months, Jeremy had mentally re-played his last conversation with Bonnie, over and over and over, until his heart couldn't take any more. Just how many people was he going to lose before his life ended (again)? How many would slip between his fingers before he had to acknowledge how broken - how empty - he was starting to feel? His college essays on loss - on picking up the pieces over and over - must've had some kind of impact, because every college had accepted him with distinction (and his grades weren't that remarkable).<p>

The University of Virginia, in particular, had given him a merit scholarship that paid for everything - tuition, room & board, and even a small stipend. It was no Whitmore, but as an orphan with no surviving relatives in the US, Jeremy figured his parents' memories would understand. The interview, back in November, had been nerve-wracking enough, with his move from the Salvatore Manor into the Lockwood Estate occurring the same week. Jeremy blankly remembered rushing into the coffee shop, where he met the interviewer, with the largest, fakest smile he could muster.

Mr. Sulez - the interviewer and the owner of Mystic Falls' only bookstore - had regarded him with something akin to pity and sympathy, before he had reached over and lightly squeezed Jeremy's hand. "You alright?"

Jeremy should have said no. He should've said that Elena had lost her mind, that he had spent the past five months in the company of his worst nightmare (and his sister's toxic, toxic boyfriend), and that he just needed to escape. Yet, he found himself saying, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. I just finished moving into my friend's place."

That stupid look of pity washed over Mr. Sulez's face as he noted, "Right, after your house burned down last spring..." before launching into the rest of the interview.

Alaric had once said that supernatural creatures - vampires, werewolves, things that went bump in the night - were the worst enemies a guy could face. Between the struggles of college applications, and now, the loss of his girlfriend, Jeremy briefly wondered if Alaric had been lying. Right now, paying for his lifestyle was the biggest hurdle. Dad and Mom had left some money in his savings account - they'd saved and saved every year, because Mystic Falls wasn't the most expensive town to live in - but even that couldn't cover all four years. Hunting vampires - killing them in cold blood - was far easier than writing essays for the Common App and wondering if this college would like him enough to fund his education. Dealing with Elena's doppelgangers was easier than securing a part-time job, and analyzing old town maps was easier than paying off old loans that his parents' life insurance hadn't covered. While he had been fortunate enough to land a merit scholarship, he knew others that had been far less lucky.

The night before he left, Tyler and Matt treated him to a farewell dinner, with bottles of booze stolen from the Grille, cupcakes from Elena, and a cake that Caroline had freshly baked. The girls were out of town for the weekend, so they'd sent their love through baked goods. As Tyler sliced the cake (a red velvet one, with _Congratulations Jeremy!_ scrawled in neat cream-cheese icing) for them, Jeremy couldn't help musing about just how drastically his life had changed.

If someone had told Jeremy a few years ago that Tyler Lockwood - the jerk jock who had fought him multiple times freshman year- would become his closest confidante and roommate, Jeremy would have laughed at their face. Tyler wasn't supposed to have wormed his way into Jeremy's heart; Tyler wasn't supposed to remember the little details; and Tyler especially wasn't supposed to waste his money on art supplies, because he'd even bought Jeremy a new sketchbook and Prismacolors as a farewell present.

"Here," Tyler had said, handing over Jeremy a plate as he sliced two more pieces for himself and Matt. "The man of the hour deserves it first, yeah?"

"I guess." Jeremy fidgeted in his seat, avoiding Tyler's watchful gaze as he plowed straight into that cake. Mm, it tasted way better than what he remembered of Caroline's cooking (which, honestly, wasn't much).

Matt shot them an amused look, before he rose to his feet and announced, "I'm gonna grab more booze. I swear, you two... we must've cleaned out half our stock in an hour alone."

"Just means we know how to party," Tyler triumphantly called, raising a hand for a failed hi-five as Matt brushed past him with a snort. When that effort failed, Tyler turned to Jeremy and said, "You got everything you need for tomorrow? Matt and I're heading straight to Whitmore once we've got you settled in."

Whitmore, hilariously enough, was closer to University of Virginia than to Mystic Falls. Jeremy suspected this was a curse, considering how many hours he had spent at Whitmore, learning all of Bonnie's haunts and acquainting himself with the library (and the archery club, because he could). A fresh start wasn't supposed to invoke the past or drudge up painful memories.

Jeremy pulled out the checklist he'd prepared - well, that Elena had prepared in one of her more-aware states - and scanned it again. Tyler peered over his shoulder, nodding as Jeremy ticked off each item, right up until...

"You don't want a family photo?" Tyler tapped the list. "We could head to the Lakehouse and see what's left." (Honestly? Jeremy had forgotten that he technically owned the place, considering Elena had long since left town, and every other family member was dead.)

"Nah. I think I'll be fine." He had a picture of his new family, one with him, April, Tyler, and Matt, as if they were normal teenagers rather than ones burdened with the supernatural. To reassure Tyler, Jeremy even managed a real smile this time, once he'd finished off his slice. "See?"

"Uh-huh." Tyler's pout would've been cute, had his entire face not been smudged with cream cheese icing. "You say that every time, man."

Jeremy leaned in, ostensibly to wipe it from his roommate's face. Only mere inches separated them. Jeremy could even smell the cream cheese on Tyler's breath, just as he heard his roommate's heart rate spike as the distance between them grew shorter and shorter. Normally, Jeremy wouldn't have cared about invading Tyler's personal space.

For God's sake, they were roommates! Jeremy was more than used to the girls that Matt dated, and he was sure used to the werewolves that Tyler had befriended in Tennessee (whenever they came up for visits, at least). Simply wiping icing off Tyler's face shouldn't have prompted this reaction.

"Maybe by the fifth time I say it, you'll actually believe it," Jeremy retorted quietly, gauging Tyler for a reaction.

"Or maybe you're just convincing yourself you'll be fine." Tyler's gaze dropped straight to Jeremy's lips. Wait, was there icing all over Jeremy's face too? Not cool, Caroline! "It's okay if you're not. I know Caroline wasn't, the night before she left for college. Elena too, and she had Damon wrapped around her little finger then."

Bonnie had fretted too, the night before, precisely because she couldn't join her friends. Bonnie should've been the one to blaze through life, not him. Jeremy should've remained on the Other Side, awaiting its bleak demise with open arms. Yet, Matt had once warned him, wallowing in pity was the exact opposite of what Bonnie would've wanted. Bonnie would've encouraged him to move forward, just as she would've been alright with him... moving on. Jeremy hadn't once thought about dating someone else. The mere concept seemed to taint her memory, so he hadn't bothered. The new girl would've just been another one to slip past him.

Almost inaudibly, Jeremy said, "What would you say, if I told you I wasn't? I've lost so many people, Ty. So many, and if I go tomorrow, I'll lose Matt and I'll lose you-"

Tyler pressed his lips against Jeremy's. Jeremy froze, inhaling Tyler's musky cologne and earth and a hint of the barbeque dinner they'd cooked earlier that evening. They were so, so drunk - they had to be, to consider kisses at this hour - and yet, Jeremy scooted onto Tyler's lap and even wrapped his arms around his roommate's neck as he returned that kiss.

Tyler reluctantly let go after a few seconds, his eyes questioningly gauging Jeremy for a reaction. "You won't lose me."

"I'd sure hope not, after a kiss like that." Jeremy laughed, ducking to avoid Tyler's hand. "Does this, like... make us gay or something?" What exactly did it make them? Besides drunken make-out buddies? (Thank god no one else was around to witness this.)

Furrowing his brow, Tyler said, "Maybe if we don't tell Matt."

"You don't have to. I kinda had front-row tickets," Matt's voice called, as he emerged from the Lockwood pantry with two unopened bottles of wine. There was even a twinkle in his eye as he set it down between them.

Jeremy yelped, immediately jumping to his feet and standing as far away from Tyler as possible. Matt reached for Jeremy, slinging an arm around Jeremy's shoulders.

"Dude, you don't have to hide it from me anymore. I know you like Tyler."

Tyler just gaped at him. "Well, _I_ didn't."

"That makes two of us..." Jeremy said softly, counting on his fingers as he tried to recall an instance - any instance, really - where Tyler might've seemed homosexual. Nothing came to mind. Sure, they'd shared clothes, cooked together, and even shared a blanket as they watched TV together, but roommates - especially close ones - were entitled to bonding activities. Those weren't limited to the romantic!

Matt blinked back surprise. "Huh. I figured, with a kiss like that, you two had been secretly dating for a while."

"Maybe we should be dating, if Loser Face over here learns how to kiss better," Tyler teased, with a slight eyeroll as he handed Matt a piece of cake.

Jeremy scowled. "Like Wolfboy can judge, with that kind of sloppiness."

"Oh, you wanna bet?" Tyler stood up and approached Jeremy, leaning against the wall as he stood mere inches apart from him. "You really wanna bet?"

Jeremy kissed him - carefully this time, now that he knew Matt was watching - only to let go and say, "Nah. I think I'll bet on your breath instead."

Matt couldn't hold his laughter in any longer. "Man, when Stefan and I bet on two of our friends dating, this wasn't the combination that came up. I think we once thought about you and Bonnie..."

(Stefan actually bet on these kinds of things? With actual money?) Their lives had started to resemble a soap opera - a supernatural one - with how chaotic everything had gotten, and yet... Jeremy's heart had ached less at the mention of her name.

"I don't know about _dating_," Jeremy found himself saying. "We're still pretty drunk, man. What if we don't want to, once we're all sober?"

Tyler glanced at him thoughtfully. "And what if we do? Whitmore's only, what, 45 minutes from UVA? That's a doable relationship."

"You actually want to?" Jeremy had to get himself another slice of cake, just to distract him from the gravity of Tyler's words. There was no feasible way that Tyler would want to actually date him - come on, Tyler might've been held back a year in college, but there were other girls in the sea! Other girls that weren't him! "But we're both starting college, and we'll be busy, and-"

Tyler and Matt exchanged knowing smiles, before Tyler nodded at him. "Why not?"

Jeremy could recite them from memory. First, what the hell would their friends say? Sure, Matt had encouraged them, because he had seen it coming long before either of them did... but what about everyone else? Caroline? Stefan? Elena? Especially Elena, because she was just about the only family Jeremy had left in this world. Second, they were starting freshman year at two different colleges: if Tyler didn't meet someone new, Jeremy surely would, and it would strain whatever relationship they already had. The mental list just scrolled further and further in Jeremy's head, until-

"Okay," Jeremy said, before his brain knew exactly what his mouth was saying. "We can try it."

"About damn time," Matt said, in-between bites of cake. Not even a glare from Jeremy bothered Matt; that guy just plowed into his red velvet cake, enjoying every single bite as if it were a piece of heaven. "What? If I saw it coming, it was pretty damn obvious, you two."

That night, for the first time since Bonnie disappeared with the Other Side, Jeremy didn't replay their conversation. He didn't dream about losing her to a blank void, nor did he see her shadow loom over him as Tyler and Matt drove him to his dorm. He still wore her favorite necklace underneath his clothes, just as he'd kept her photo prominently on his desk. Except this time, he had also inset a picture of Tyler beside her.

Of course, Jeremy's poor roommate had been traumatized upon witnessing Tyler kiss Jeremy good-bye, even stuttering, "S-shit, I didn't realize my roommate was gay."

"Not gay, just bisexual," Tyler had cheerfully said, kissing Jeremy again on the forehead for good measure. "There's a difference."

Sure, a lot of people had slipped through his fingers over the years, but Jeremy had a feeling that Tyler wasn't going to be one of them - not by a long shot.


End file.
